Yo, listen up, you pesky seagull on my deck

I'm Admiral Teach, the bard, and I'm here to wreck

My guitar riffs spark like lightning at sea

My mockery's so vicious, it's got a body count, you'll see

Captain of chaos, master of the seas

My crew of bones dance to my melodies

Self-made captain, the seas bend to my will

My bardic inspiration hones the whole crew's skill

We rule these waters with iron and song

Teach and his crew, where we sail, we belong

Skeleton sailors, treasure in our hold

My bardic inspiration hones the whole crew's skill

We rule these waters with iron and song

Teach and his crew, where we sail, we belong

Skeleton sailors, treasure in our hold

Cross us, little bird, and you'll never grow old

Next up is Cake, our cleric of storms

Sacrificing fools is just one of his norms

Hurricane god demands tribute in blood

Your feathers might do to appease the flood

Aztec zealot in a pirate's rough trade

Morals as flexible as the deals we've made

He'd sacrifice his own kin for a favorable wind

Your bones for our necromancy, feathered fiend

We've sunk submarines, slain devils with glee

Megalodon's teeth? Just trophies to me

Pirate Council knows we're not to be crossed

Mess with us and you'll end up lost

Titus, half-orc, silent as the deep

His scimitars sing foes to eternal sleep

His rage makes the sea itself step back

Against Titus, you're just a flying snack

He's wrestled krakens and walked away whole

Your bravado against him is a joke, you droll

Goes with the flow till it's time to brawl

Then he'll make giants and birds look small

We rule these waters with iron and song

Teach and his crew, where we sail, we belong

Skeleton sailors, treasure in our hold

Cross us, little bird, and you'll never grow old

Chaser's our wildcard, elf of the sea

Sword-singer, wizard, dressed flamboyantly

His clothes are loud, his magic's brighter

Dazzling and deadly, there's no fiercer fighter

His spells astound, his blade work is sleek

Your dull grey feathers can't compete with his peak

Outrageous stunts are his claim to fame

Next to Chaser, you're just mundane

So seagull, you've heard the tales of our crew

We're not here for mercy, that much is true

We're not heroes, we're here for the gold

Fly off now, or sleep in Davy Jones' hold!

Outro