Oh, what a wonderful dark place this is! No burning sky-light to hurt my eyes, and the air tastes properly of stone and shadow and old-old-secrets. The big-folk seem nervous, but Mistress is happy. When Mistress is happy, I am happy!
The River Sargoth is black and slow, like the good hiding pools. Not like the fast-bright waters up-above that make me dizzy to look at. We came here to find shiny-treasures for Glenda the Green (the witch-who-smells-like-dragon) that Chet-talks-to-books likes. But I think Mistress wants to find different treasures. She has her hunting-face on.
Silly C'Nut-with-paint-fingers forgot why we came down-down-down! His head is full of stories and songs, no room for remembering-thoughts. But that's okay, he makes pretty pictures and nice sounds. Chet is playing with his Kharak Azul seeing-stone, watching the up-above Duke's palace through dwarf-head-statues. He sees two-legs doing two-leg things together (the Reaver and a maid, very silly!). He makes maps though! We’ll need a map to get Glenda’s treasure.
Oh! Oh! Best thing happened! The Staff of the Oathkeeper that Mistress took from Hastur-the-demon-friend (he wasn't very friendly in the end) was cursed-twisted-wrong, but then Lolth-Mother-of-All-Spiders made it right-proper-good! I felt Her presence, like the biggest web ever made, all around us. Mistress was so happy she almost cried the good-tears. I danced on all eight legs!
On the way to the big city, Mistress made a little screaming-thing into juice for her magic-makings. The big-folk got upset-faces, but Mistress needs the juice for demon-calling. When more screaming-things came from the dark, Beskar-who-flies-with-fire made his flame-breath machine work (he's good at fire!) and Chet gave them goodberries. No fighting happened. Good!
Skullport is AMAZING! Three levels, all connected with walk-webs (they call them catwalks but they're not for cats!). The whole place is stuck to the cave walls and pointy-rocks. Xanathar the many-eyes-crime-boss rules here (must be very good at seeing everything, being a beholder and all). Dead-walkers eating in the small spaces, mind-squids singing their thinking-songs, and green-fire-skulls floating around keeping things orderly.
Mistress got very interested when she heard about the House Despana Lolth shrine up-up on level three. The big-folk wanted to get skin-pictures instead. And Beskar keeps looking at the water for his Mythosaur (whatever that is - sounds made-up to me).
In the magic-shop, Tas-the-old-spell-weaver said she could make us go poof back up-above for 200 gold-circles. Good to know! Also bought some magic-drinks.
Then! Then! Four dark-sisters came to talk on the second level! Real proper dark-sisters like Mistress! They moved like hunting-spiders, all confidence and ready-to-bite. The main one, Priestess Spinderella (good name, I like spinning too!), had the special-metal armor that Beskar wants so badly. He tried to ask about it but the dark-sisters just laughed at him and the other males. They talked with Mistress in the proper way - all sweet-poison words and hidden-meanings. Like web-plucking, each word meaning three things! Sisters invited Mistress to top-level-temple tomorrow.
The dark-sisters left a present - an egg that went CRACK and out came an umber hulk! Its confusion-eyes made Chet and Beskar all spinny-headed. Mistress made everything dark with her spell (my favorite!) so they could think straight again. Beskar-strong-kicks kicked it until it stopped moving. Then all the hungry-things in the city came to eat it - hobgoblins and stirges having a feast!
At the Scorpion's Sting (the skin-picture place), Beskar and Chet got House Aleval marks on their skin! So clever! They think it's just for pretty and protection (+1 to their armor!), but it means they belong to Mistress’s house. C'Nut was going to get one too, but then something strange happened - instead of family-mark, an Eilistraee-mark appeared! The Moon-Dancing-Sister that Mistress has been pretending to follow up-above!
Mistress got the cold-angry face (scary!), but she just told C'Nut-suddenly-heretic to cover it up with a scarf. Good thinking - that mark makes dark-sisters very bitey down here. The skin-picture artist didn't know what happened. Nobody did! Very strange god-magic.
The Aboleth drinking-fighting place was fun! C'Nut drank a potion of cloud giant strength and called himself "Deez Nutz" (two-legs have weird names for fighting). After getting blessed by Beskar, he fought Minos the Broad, a big bull-head-thing with gold nose-jewelry. He won by pulling its head into pieces! Messy but effective! Everyone yelled "DEEZ NUTZ! DEEZ NUTZ!"
Mistress snapped her fingers before and made the lesser dark-brothers move from a good watching-table. She knows how to be properly in-charge here. She ordered drinks while Chet bet 100 gold on C'Nut, and she bet 500! (Beskar bet 100 on the bull-thing, silly Beskar!)
After the fighting, Zinda-with-horns told the big-folk about her missing sister Belle, a pixie from the Garden of Delights. (Not the same pixie Mistress has in her pack-of-holding, that one's already juice). The males all got the thinking-with-other-parts faces and followed her. They think they're going to have fun-times! Mistress made her disgusted-face and went somewhere else for sleeping.
I like it here. The big-folk are good big-folk - Beskar found his special metal and likes making fire, Chet found interesting magic-things and makes maps, C'Nut made everyone cheer with his fighting - but they don't understand that this is Mistress's real home-place. Down here, she doesn't have to pretend to be nice. She can be sharp-edges and poison-sweet, like she's supposed to be.
Tomorrow we probably have to rescue the males from whatever silk-trap they walked into with their thinking-with-other-parts brains. The Garden of Delights sounds like the kind of place where two-legs go in but their coin-purses come out empty.
